Monday, July 7, 2008

A sucker for Punishment??

Over the weekend I had a very interesting conversation with a friend. It has been bugging me ever since.

Why do women expose themselves to situations that are of a detriment to them?? Is it because they lack the self confidence or the self esteem needed to identify when a situation is not working for them?? Or is it their fear of being alone??

A couple of months ago my friend found herself in a hopeless situation and was on the brink of total emotional breakdown. She had found out that she was pregnant and to make things worse she was no longer dating the father of the baby!! Well after speaking to her at the time she conceded to telling him about the pregnancy and was greeted with total nonchalant behaviour!! He questioned the paternity of the child and tried everything to not take responsibility for his actions!! Suffice to say he acted like a complete jerk, I'd use stronger terminology but my family reads my blog!! LOL!!

Anyway his actions sent her into a tailspin making me fear the worst!! I supported her all the way making sure that I kept contact as much as I could so as to prevent her from doing anything stupid. The stress she was dealing with was too much for her body to handle and she ended up miscarrying the baby!! That day was a total nightmare!! It had saddened me so because I knew what she was going through, I had 2 miscarriages of my own!! I couldn't be there with her at the clinic but I called her making sure that she was okay. I shed so many tears, for her, for the unborn child and for the idiot of a boyfriend who refused to offer her support when she needed it most!!

Suffice to say she went for counselling and an HIV test which was negative, thankfully!! A few months down the line and now they're dating again!! Hello!! Am I missing something here??? I respect her decision for she is the one who will live with the consequences. But was the trauma that she experienced not enough for her to see that he's just using her?? When I asked her if they had intention of getting married, she said that he wasn't ready. How typical!! Well all my friends know that I don't beat about the bush when I need to say something. And I always do so with the utmost respect and integrity. So I told her that if he was still getting it on with her then why would he!!

She knows that I'm right and she remained silent when I said my say. My last words to her before we ended our conversation was, " Why settle for less?? You are worthy of so much more than he has to offer!!" That is something that should resonate with every woman out there, never make excuses for the relationship you're in if it's not of a benefit to you!! A woman is a jewel and she should be treated as one!!

1 comment:

Smooches said...

My sentiments exactly! I suppose deep down inside she ponders about whether what's she's doing is the right choice... but that feeling is so subtle, we tend not to take note of it. And, yet, it's the determining factor coz already there's doubt. But, hey, honestly all woman are afraid of being alone, whether we admit it or not. But, what i'm really trying to say is, it's up to you, as a woman to choose what's best for you... and if you don't have the courage to do that for YOURSELF, to stand up for YOURSELF, then you'll never be able to stand up to anyone else. Like my Mom once told me: "If you don't stand up for yourself, you'll fall for anything!" Take heed.