Thursday, July 31, 2008
I recall the events leading up to me receiving the news of his death. It was Friday during the Jumuah waqt, I was taking lunch at the time. I had relieved Cindy on the switchboard when Leona asked me about ideas that I had because she was doing the decor of a friend's wedding. I mentioned that a cousin of mine had used the same colors and that I had pictures on the pc. I left them and returned to my desk to search for the pics only to have the subject of an email jump at me!! The email was sent from Shamilla in JHB and it said, 'Rahiem is on life support, please make dua for him.'
I remember staring at the screen for a couple of minutes before it sunk in!! No, this cannot be, I tried reasoning with myself!! I just spoke to Warda, his wife, a few days ago and she said he was doing well. So how could this be?? I replied to the email and asked Shamilla if she was sure about the news because I had heard otherwise. My brain was still struggling to come to terms with the news, I had even forgotten why I had returned to my desk in the first place!! Then I remembered that Shamilla had close contact with Rahiem's mom, so the information she had given was probably true. My heart sunk and I tried to think of who to call at that point in time.
I returned to the switchboard and received confused glances from Leona and Cindy. Both wanting to know what was wrong because my face looked as if I had seen a ghost. I explained the situation and tried calling all the people who knew Rahiem on my contact list but none of them could give me any news. Finally I managed to get hold of Raygaana, Warda's sisiter, when she answered her cellphone I immediately knew that the news I had received was true!! I didn't know what to say to her. She confirmed that Rahiem was on life support and that they were deciding to switch off the machines. Rahiem was declared brain dead and wouldn't survive without the help of the machines!! My disbelief was apparent when I ended the call, with Leona and Cindy watching me closely.
At that point I couldn't concentrate on anything, I wandered around the office as if in a slumber. During the time I left work and returned home, they had switched the machines off. When Shanaaz called to tell me that she was going to Warda's home, I told her I would go to. En route to Warda's home my mind wondered over the last few years. It was so unfair for this to be happening now, his children were still so young, the youngest being only 2 years old!! He and I were about the same age, so it could have been me in his shoes. At that point I just realised how grateful I should be to be alive. The closer we came to Warda's home, the more my anxiety grew. I dreaded moments like these, I was always at a loss for words.
When I walked through the door and saw Warda's face I dissolved in tears, I couldn't imagine being in her shoes. We just held each other for a few minutes and I tried to console her with words of sympathy. Every person who was there wore a look of confusion and utter disbelief!! All of them still trying to fathom the death of a dear friend, brother, father, husband, uncle, son-in-law and nephew!!
Abduraghiem was such a spontaneous and humorous person, he brought so much spunk to all the relationships he had. Sometimes I wonder why Allah had taken him away at such a young age because his wife and children still needed him so much. But we are not here to question, only to accept and make sabr. Whenever a specific song plays on the radio I think of him and the way he used to dance to the music. So full of life and full of energy, with so much promise. May Allah fill his kabr with Noor and may Allah place him on the highest level in Jannah Insha-Allah Ameen!! Al-Fatiha
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Well, I know how daunting it is to go to hospital on your own so I acquiesced her request, promising to meet her there early this morning. When I arrived at the hospital out patients section, I was greeted with a full waiting area!! I looked around me and realised that I was very lucky not to be in anyone of these peoples shoes!! We seem to take our health for granted all the time, only when we're taken ill do we realise how important it is.
Personally, I hate hospitals!! The sterile smell and those long corridors, seem to scare the hell out of me!! Maybe I watched too many horror movies but I become very apprehensive. To make things worse Raihaana wasn't there when I arrived!! After calling her cellphone countless times to get her voicemail, I almost left and went back to work. Why do people have cellphones if they're not going to answer it??? Just as I was about to leave, I received a message from her saying that she was still in the taxi on her way there!!
Anyway, that calmed my nerves a bit and I patiently waited for to arrive. When she finally got there, we had to wait a further hour for her folder. Then we had to wait to see the doctor. Wait, wait, wait!! I'm beginning to realise why they call it "waiting rooms"!! LOL!! Raihaana was apprehensive as to the results of her tests and she still experienced pain. When her name was finally called to see the doctor, I was so relieved!! As we sat there waiting for him to give us the verdict, I could see Raihaana tense up waiting for the worse scenario possible!! But when he gave his prognosis it was good news!! The tissue was not malignant, just scarred because of the previous operation done!! Yay!! Raihaana was elated and so was I!!
The doctor checked her wound and told her it was healing nicely. He also prescribed some antibiotics for the swelling and gave her another date for another check up. So, all is well that ends well!!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
|What Shahieda Jardien Means|
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.
You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.
You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.
You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.
You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to do so but because of the location of the agency transporting the goodies was going to pose a problem. They were located in Newlands, way too far for me to travel with cake via public transport. Over the weekend a friend came to order some cake for a 6 year old. He proceeded in telling me about an orphanage he spends every Sunday at. You can just imagine my surprise when I found out it was literally on my doorstep!! Just 2 roads away from me!!
I am so excited, this is just what I've been waiting for!! I quickly asked him to please give me details on the children staying there, i.e. , their ages and sex. There are 12 of them. I will certainly be blogging about this in the upcoming months!! According to him there's a birthday in August month for a 2 year old. Can you just imagine the look on that little one's face when he hears that he'll be having a party for his birthday???
It will certainly give me great pleasure to be doing this. It will also put things into perspective with regards to my children, they will get to see firsthand what it entails to be living without parents. And I'm sure it will bring home the fact that they are very lucky to still have their own parents care for them. A lesson they could well thank me for when they are older Insha-Allah Ameen!!
So, my dua is: 'O Allah allow me the ability and strength to accomplish my goals and may my intention be one of good, always. Insha-Allah Ameen!!'
Monday, July 21, 2008
All my hard work fell apart before my eyes!! It was sooo very frustrating, nonetheless nothing could be done to save it!
I think I was more upset because the birthday boy was sleeping and he wouldn't be able to see the finished product. Blah!!
After holding on to the cake for dear life, I finally just let go and it split open completely, spilling my jelly baby sailors all over the deck!! LOL!!
My hands looked like I had been doing finger painting LOL!! Suffice to say that the icing tasted yummy!! And it looked like I was having lots of fun!!
"Did you see what happened?? What has Tietie done??"
"What am I going to do without a birthday cake?? A birthday is not a birthday without a cake, right??"
"Did you just see that?? The whole thing fell apart!! Oh my, what now??"
"Well I'll just have to chew on one of the oars, that will have to do for now!! Yummy, it's good"
Friday, July 18, 2008
Time sure does have a way of creeping up on you when you're not looking!! Suffice to say that we need to take full advantage of the time given to us. So, without further adieu, I'd like to say, Slamat Toufeeq, may Allah guide and bless you Insha-Allah Ameen. Although we don't really get to talk much, know that you are always in my duas and that you have so much potential!! Take advantage of that now while you are still young!!
Then I would also like to say Happy birthday to my youngest sister, Ayesha!! We certainly don't get to see one another as often as we would like to, but you are always in my thoughts. May Allah bless and keep you safe, Insha-Allah Ameen!!
Happy birthday also to my other mum, Fazlin Jardien, I might not always say so but I do love you very much. You have certainly been an inspiration to us all and I hope that in the years to come we will continue to grow as a unit and individually, Insha-Allah Ameen!!
Shucks, I hope I haven't forgotten anyone, it sure is difficult keeping track of all the birthdays, especially with a family so big!! In the event that I have forgotten anyone, please do forgive me!! Make the most of each day as it comes and remember that nothing is impossible!!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Firstly, I've had to give my 2 older children extra tutoring with regards to Maths and Afrikaans. Their trip to Knysna with the school is coming up soon, meaning I have to get a move on the fund raising. My orders have increased but there's less time to finish them. I'd like to enrol for an extra course in journalism or creative writing but don't know how I'm going to manage with so much on my plate already.
My younger brother's 21st birthday celebration takes place on Sunday and I need to bake for the occasion. As well as my nephew who just turned 1 year old on Tuesday, need to bake for him as well!!
Oh, and my eldest one starts high school next year!! Where did the time go?? She was just a little girl the other day!! I still need to enrol her, and she refuses to attend a high school in the area. There are times when I feel like burrowing into a hole to hibernate and by the time I'm ready to face the world everything would have sorted itself out!! Yeah right, that only happens in your dreams!!
Speaking about dreams, I seem to not be getting much sleep lately with all these thoughts running through my mind!! Woke up at 3am this morning and being the type who cannot just lay there started busying myself with THINGS!! No, I'm not crazy, well not just yet!! LOL!!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
This kind of behaviour has always bugged me!! So how is it that I should be the one held responsible if you decide to fly off the handle, or if you decide to act in such a way as to cause embarrassment to yourself?? I've learnt the hard way that I can only control my own actions not someones actions towards me.
So if someone doesn't say or act as you would want them to, then it certainly is not their fault. Why have expectations of that kind in the first place?? You just end up disappointing yourself at the end of the day. Everyone has the right to an opinion or view and it's totally up to you as an individual to respect that. Agree to disagree is what I always say, in that way many relations are still kept in tact.
I think our world would be a better place if we were more tolerant with one another and at least give the next person the benefit of the doubt!!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Arlene, who was the driver played Cece Winans, Kirk Franklin as well as Martha Monizi. There were particular tracks on each cd that made an impact on me. Most importantly though, was the fact that all the ladies in the lift club needed each other at different points in time. My belief has always been that every person that you come into contact with during your life, is there for a certain purpose, whether it to support you or to mirror their experiences.
Cindy had just started working at Jetmaster and I certainly knew why she had been placed in my path from the word go!! She, like I, was just discovering herself and needed someone to point her in the right direction. And when I say 'right direction', I mean by delving within herself to find what makes her happy. For she had become so busy trying to make everyone happy she had forgotten that to give happiness you had to be happy as a person too!! She too soon discovered that there was a big difference between sacrificing and giving. When you sacrifice yourself you end up feeling resentment, but when you give of yourself from the heart without expecting anything in return, you overflow with happiness.
Leona on the other hand was placed in my path for completely opposite reasons. She was there to allow me to discover that it doesn't matter what life threw at me, I had to look at the positive side of matters. She has this bubbly personality, and it doesn't matter what comes her way, she seems to rise to the occasion!! Even her ability of handling clients under duress amazed me completely!! And I don't think that in the 3 years that I have come to know her, have I ever seen her in a bad mood!! Seriously!! Nothing, absolutely nothing, would get to her!!
Then there was Arlene, her amazing belief that God would see her through all life's tribulations was truly an eye-opening experience!! Although I was the only Muslim amongst them, there was much respect and tolerance with regards to religion. They had received misconstrued information with regards to Islam in general, so I explained many things which led to a better understanding and respect of it.
The one specific song which really made an impact on me was one sung by Cece Winans and the title was 'He's not on his knees yet'. The crux of the song was that humans tend to look elsewhere for solutions to their problems when all we needed was to really raise our hands up to God and ask. And in her song she was asking God to guide us and have mercy on us because we are weak and not on our knees yet. Our problems are as deep and worrying as we make them to be, once we realise that just by letting them go and leaving them up to God to solve. For God's love is all-encompassing and we do not realise how much He does love us!!
He doesn't know his worth,
Wears the saddest smile on earth.
He denies it.
Love is reaching out to him.
But he won't let it in.
He defies it, He defies it.
He's not ready, he's not on his knees yet,
He's too strong to be weak.
Show him mercy, he's not on his knees yet.
Let him break, please make him better.
Put the pieces back together.
He thinks that he's alone,
I have walked the road he's on.
And I know he's searching,
Looking everywhere but up.
He can't fill his empty cup,
So He keeps hurting, he keeps hurting.
He's not ready, he's not on his knees yet,
He's too strong to be weak.
Show him mercy, he's not on his knees yet.
Let him break, please make him better.
Put the pieces back together.
Help him please, he's not on his knees yet!!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
My kids have been on holiday for the past 2 weeks at Rabia's place. Rabia has 3 girls all in the same age group as my kids. Her eldest one Saadieyah celebrated her birthday on Tuesday, and we were invited to attend the gadaat they were giving. Saadieyah's wish was that I bake her a chocolate mousse cake in the shape of the numerals 12 and so her wish was granted.
When we arrived at Rabia's home, I was greeted with lots of hugs and kisses!! My kids missed me so much, so much though that they didn't want to come home yet!! LOL!! My youngest sister was with us and we normally end up chatting away catching up on everything. We are a close-knit family I'd like to think. This led me again to think of the suicide killings taking place in and around Cape Town. According to news reports, the families were well known to their neighbours and were 'quiet people'.
I looked around at everyone trying to take in as much detail as possible. Just grateful that I was sitting there chatting to everyone, making memories, and not in a morgue somewhere because a family member decided that it was time for me to die!! WOW!! That sure does put things into perspective doesn't it!!
I shook that thought from my mind and went to make salaah with Raihaana, asking Allah to protect my family and most importantly my children!! Afterwards Raihaana told me about her visit to the dentist!! She had me hooting with laughter when she told me about her antics!! Apparently the dentist was a very good looking young man, probably about her age. She was as nervous as could be, thinking to herself, how this gorgeous man could be scratching in her mouth!! LMAO!! By the time she was done explaining my stomach muscles were sore and I had to catch my breath!! We finally made our way downstairs where they had started serving boeber and eatables. There was so much cake and savouries to nibble on, you'd swear there was a wedding taking place!! Nonetheless everything was delicious!!
Take advantage of each dawning day and make the most of it, say what you need to say to your loved ones to assure them that you love them. You might not get a second chance to do so!!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
I am saddened by the fact that people feel the need to take the lives of their loved ones in their hands. Where is the sense in that I ask you?? Who has given them the liberty of deciding when their family members should leave this earth?? I'm really trying to make sense of it all, but failing dismally!!
On the one hand I do understand when one goes into a depression, I've been there too. But on the other hand, to kill your children, wife and then yourself?? I know I'm repeating myself here but that's a clue as to the state of my mind. OK, kill yourself but leave the children, they've done nothing to deserve the torture that a parent inflicts on them willingly!!
While we might go into a debate about the psychological state of mind of a person intending to commit suicide, it still won't give us any answers as to why people do so. I will admit that I have had suicidal thoughts, I think we all do, but to put them into action is another thought on it's own.
Which leads me to think about people's spirituality in general. Is that where we are lacking?? Has spirituality taken a back seat in this rat race we call life?? All I know is that children do not deserve to butchered by their own parents!!
Monday, July 7, 2008
By the time we had all finished dressing, there were just about 15 minutes left to get to the venue. All the ladies were very nervous, most of them had never done a fashion show before. Nonetheless tensions were running high and there were so many questions!! "How do we walk?? How big is the stage?? How long do we stay on stage??" It was truly madness, but oh so much fun!! The venue was filled to capacity, so the designs would get extensive exposure. And that was definitely the goal.The music started and the 1st lady hit the stage with wild applause!! Then the 2nd, the 3rd and so forth!! The crowd certainly enjoyed the designs they were seeing. Hmmmm, or was it the absolutely gorgeous models wearing the dresses??!! LOL!! Suffice to say that the show was a huge success!! Shaheema is sure to get a huge response with regards to her Smooches label. She really has been working very hard to make this dream a reality. With her perseverance and dedication her dream will materialize sooner than later!!
Who knows, we could be seeing her being featured at the next SA Fashion Week!! Girl Power rules!! Yeah!!
Why do women expose themselves to situations that are of a detriment to them?? Is it because they lack the self confidence or the self esteem needed to identify when a situation is not working for them?? Or is it their fear of being alone??
A couple of months ago my friend found herself in a hopeless situation and was on the brink of total emotional breakdown. She had found out that she was pregnant and to make things worse she was no longer dating the father of the baby!! Well after speaking to her at the time she conceded to telling him about the pregnancy and was greeted with total nonchalant behaviour!! He questioned the paternity of the child and tried everything to not take responsibility for his actions!! Suffice to say he acted like a complete jerk, I'd use stronger terminology but my family reads my blog!! LOL!!
Anyway his actions sent her into a tailspin making me fear the worst!! I supported her all the way making sure that I kept contact as much as I could so as to prevent her from doing anything stupid. The stress she was dealing with was too much for her body to handle and she ended up miscarrying the baby!! That day was a total nightmare!! It had saddened me so because I knew what she was going through, I had 2 miscarriages of my own!! I couldn't be there with her at the clinic but I called her making sure that she was okay. I shed so many tears, for her, for the unborn child and for the idiot of a boyfriend who refused to offer her support when she needed it most!!
Suffice to say she went for counselling and an HIV test which was negative, thankfully!! A few months down the line and now they're dating again!! Hello!! Am I missing something here??? I respect her decision for she is the one who will live with the consequences. But was the trauma that she experienced not enough for her to see that he's just using her?? When I asked her if they had intention of getting married, she said that he wasn't ready. How typical!! Well all my friends know that I don't beat about the bush when I need to say something. And I always do so with the utmost respect and integrity. So I told her that if he was still getting it on with her then why would he!!
She knows that I'm right and she remained silent when I said my say. My last words to her before we ended our conversation was, " Why settle for less?? You are worthy of so much more than he has to offer!!" That is something that should resonate with every woman out there, never make excuses for the relationship you're in if it's not of a benefit to you!! A woman is a jewel and she should be treated as one!!
Friday, July 4, 2008
As I wake this morning,
I thank Allah for the new day dawning
And I can't help but think of you
As I go through my tasks for the day,
My thoughts keep slipping away
And I can't help but think of you
You have crept into my heart
Although so far apart,
And yet I can't help but think of you
Are you a figment of my imagination??
Or have we really connected by some stroke of Divine intervention??
Still, I can't help but think of you
Shall I tell you how my heart races,
As I long to see you through a myriad of faces??
So all I can do for now is think of you!!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
After having scheduled a meeting with friends who are visiting from JHB, I certainly couldn't back out from getting together with them at Mugg and Bean. The evening before I only got to sleep at 3am and woke as usual at 4;30am to get ready for work!! Yeah, it sure is craziness on my part but what else could I do if I couldn't doze off when I wanted to!!
I felt a bit groggy during the day but when I arrived home from work, I quickly made my prayers and tried to call my friend. Unfortunately I didn't get to speak to him because the phone just rang. He's probably still very busy with the projects he mentioned. Nonetheless I miss him terribly!! Patience sure is a virtue!! Sigh!!
Shanaaz picked me up at about 20:15 and then we fetched Mariam and Nashieka. By the time we arrived at Mugg and Bean I was famished!! Shanaaz and I decided to share a mushroom and blue cheese soup. It doesn't sound very appetizing but we were pleasantly surprised!! I also ordered a smoked chicken wrap and a 'serious cappuccino'. It was most certainly a 'serious' cappuccino, going straight to my head as it seeped into my bloodstream!! LOL!! Suffice to say I was probably not going to get any sleep again!! Mariam and Nashieka shared a yummy Salmon bagel with salaad and cream cheese as well as chocolate cake and lemon meringue!!
Like the saying goes, 'Good food and good company are a rare treasure', (I made that one up, wink, wink!!). Shanaaz and I only met Nashieka that evening but we clicked immediately, speaking about everything from books, movies, the developement of women in general and the state of the country. Nashieka and I are very much alike, especially where reading material was concerned. Her favorite authors are mine too, namely, Stephen King and Dean R Koontz. So when I mentioned that I wanted to go and see the movie 'Room 1408', she was elated to have found out that they finally made a script for the movie!! The horror movie genre was her favorite too!!
So another bond was kindled and will certainly flourish with time Insha-Allah Ameen!! Our time on this earth should be spent with people who inspire and encourage us on a whole!!
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
I've been asking myself this question for the last couple of days and I'm still not closer to an answer. Is it because I wasn't exposed to someone of that calibre and can now recognize it?? Gosh, it's truly a confusing situation I find myself in!! I'm the type of person who isn't taken in too quickly by someone and I don't trust very easily. Like a friend of mine said, I observe silently from a distance and when I feel that I can trust the person that is when I will make my move.
Well now that this person knows how I'm feeling, what's the next step?? All I can do is be patient and wait on a response. But I'm not one to waste my time too, so what I have done is given myself a time frame and if that has expired with no positive response then I move on. While this may seem a drastic measure, it sure will be able to give me closure in this regard. I suppose we all sometimes find ourselves in a situation that is beyond our control. The only way I find helps me is to seek Divine guidance, for surely the Creator knows what's best!!
So my prayer is, "Oh Allah, if this is meant to be, and it is good for me then allow it to unfold. But if it is not then remove it from my path and give me the diligence to accept Your decision, Insha-Allah Ameen!!"