Friday, July 31, 2009

Ramblings of a wandering mind

My mind has been wandering over the past weeks. Even family & friends have noticed the confusion. I have been asked “What’s up??” And to be quite honest, I have no idea!! Normally one who knows what to do & what to say, I suddenly find myself at a loss for words. Am I going through the motions, perhaps an identity crisis?? I am just hoping and praying that it will pass soon. My state of mind has also been the reason for not updating my blog. It’s best to say nothing when your mind’s a wandering.

So, all I’ve been doing is reading the blogs I follow. RG & Pause to reflect never fail to draw the tears and I always end up feeling guilty for questioning my circumstances. I admire their strength and perseverance so very much!! Then there’s Major Jefferey’s blog, man I wish I could understand half of the technical jargon he uses!! I don’t even bother to comment on his posts, I used to when my tongue & brain didn’t flail over his writings, hehehehe!!

And then there’s The Kitchen Guardian, her creations in the kitchen have me ooohhhhing and aaahhhhing with each post. I emailed a pic of her ‘green with envy’ cuppies to Shaheema. With the wedding less than 2 months away, the cuppies certainly had her mind swirling!! And what about KT’s blog?? Her love for her mother & family are evident in the posts she writes.

Then there’s Ida’s blog, most of the time her writings tickle my funny bone, but yesterday’s post had me digging deep, very deep!! So much so, that I lay awake last night thinking about it. It’s an age old question really, something we should be prepared for but we’re not. Each individual would have their own solution, depending on what you’re prepared to do to save your marriage. I’m talking about the seven year itch.

So, what does make spouses stray?? And why do they think that the pastures would be greener on the other side?? Have they not heard of the 80/20 rule?? Let me explain. The person we marry has 80% of the qualities we are looking for in a spouse. Every relationship starts out rosy, as the years pass, we settle into domesticity. We have arguments about family, work, the kids, friends, you name it. This is where the trouble starts. Suddenly we begin to notice the 20% that is lacking in our spouse. We feel unfulfilled and are vulnerable.

Why focus on the 20% that isn’t there, why not focus on the 80% that you do have?? Ultimately, if you go looking for greener pastures, you’re going to end up in the same situation. Everything starts out rosy once again, your relationship settles into domesticity and suddenly the pasture doesn’t look so green does it?? What I’m trying to say, is that any relationship needs to be worked at, ALL the time. And it takes two people to do that, not one, but two. Not forgetting that He is there to turn to in your time of need!!

Ultimately it’s totally your choice. The thing is, are you prepared to face the consequences of your actions?? The majority of us aren't......

ALLAH knows what is best for us
So why should we complain
We always want the sunshine
But He knows there must be rain.
We always want laughter
and the merriment of cheer
but our heart will lose their tenderness
If we never shed a tear.
ALLAH tests us often
with suffering and sorrow
He tests us not to punish us
but to help us meet tomorrow.
For growing trees are strengthened
if they can withstand the storm
and the sharpness of the chisel
gave the marble its grace and form.
ALLAH tests us often
and for every pain
He gives us provided we are patient
Is followed by rich gain
So whenever we feel that everything is going wrong
It is just ALLAH'S way to make our spirit strong.
A very big thank you to Shiehaam for sending me this poem.

Monday, July 20, 2009

The countdown begins..........

to the auspicious month of Ramadaan. With the eve of Laialatul Mie’raaj just passed, we have exactly 2 weeks to Lailatul Bara’ (Ruwah) and then 2 weeks after that the month of Ramadaan will start, with the official siting of the moon.

I must confess, that this is my favorite time of the year!! Although I do fast during the year, the atmosphere while fasting during the holy month itself is completely different. My kids enjoy this time too (more for the exchanging of yummy goodies with the neighbors than anything else, hehehehe) and mum has no excuse for not making any nibbles so they may make their rounds.

Because we will be breaking fast earlier this time around, it will do me well to make some goodies in advance and keep them in the freezer. That way, Aqeedah can pop them in the oven by the time the goodies need to be given. She has certainly become quite handy in the kitchen.

For this year, my intention is to finish the full 30 joos of the Quran Insha-Allah. I was only able to do 21 joos last year as my monthly visitor had decided to come around twice within the month!! OI!! Hopefully it will be different this time around??

To all my family and friends, may we reach the auspicious month with the highest of Taqwah & Imaan Insha-Allah!! May Allah give us the strength to fulfill many a good deed and the attaining of His blessings and mercy Ameen!!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Guess who is 2 years old today??

Happy birthday Amjad!! May the Almighty spare you many more healthy, happy years with us Insha-Allah Ameen!!

You bring so much laughter and joy to us all with your amusing antics.

Do remember that Tietie, Aqeedah, Uthmaan & Ghaalietha love you so very much!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Behind every dark cloud there is a Silver Lining

I received this email earlier today from Shaheema and decided to share it. She certainly knows what makes me tick, thanks couz!! And she has decided to open this bank account the day she marries Insha-Allah Ameen!!

"And among His signs is this that He has created mates from among yourselves, that you may live in comfort with them, and He has put love and compassion among you (husband and wife). Surely in that are signs for those who think " (Quran-30: 21)

Hamza married Ruwayda. After the nikaah[wedding], Ruwayda’s mother gave her a newly opened bank savings book with a R2000 deposit amount at the local Islamic Bank.

Ruwayda's mother said: "Take this savings book. Keep it as a record of your married life. When there's something happy and memorable that happens in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line...The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with your husband. When you look back after years, you will know how much of happiness you've had.'

Ruwayda shared this with Hamza when she arrived home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit could be made.

This was what they did after a certain time:-

2 Jan:R200 Hamza went out in the path of Allah-
7 Feb: R300, Ruwayda's Dad took us with for HAJ. -
1 Dec: R300, Hamza graduated-
20 Mar: R200, Hamza got an excellent job -
15 Apr: R2000, Ruwayda got pregnant and later gave birth to a baby-
1 Jun: R1000, Hamza got promoted
... and so on...

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing over trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nastiest people in the world... no more love... Kind of typical nowadays, huh?

One day Ruwayda spoke to her Mother: 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We have agreed to divorce. I can't imagine how I have decided to marry this guy!!!'

Mother: 'Sure, Ruwayda, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really cannot stand it. But before that, do one thing first... Remember the savings book I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'

Ruwayda thought it was true. So she went to the Islamic Bank, waiting at the queue and planning to withdraw the amounts and to cancel the account. She intended to give Hamza his due share.

While she was waiting, she took a look at the book record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up in her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home. When she was home, she handed the book to her husband, and asked him to spend the money before getting divorced.

The next day, Hamza gave the book back to Ruwayda. She found a new deposit of R5000...and a line next to the record: 'This is the day I noticed how much I've loved you through out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.' They hugged and cried, putting the savings book back to the safe.

Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone through all the good years in their life.

"When you fall, in any way, Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes."

In every moment of our lives, we are given a choice. How shall we regard this world in which we live? Is it good, or not? Is there hope for the future, or not? Is this world full of beauty, life, blessing and love; or is it cold, heartless and ruthless? In every moment, it is one or the other...and how we regard and react to it is up to us.

“If you are grateful, I will surely increase My favours unto you” (Quran-Surah Ibrahim 14: 7).