Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
There's an interview with Deepak Chopra this month and boy, oh boy, was reading that a light bulb moment for me. It was so engrossing that I read it two nights in succession!! And through the whole article I shook my head in the affirmative!! I find it most amazing that ONE person who resonates so much peace can make such an impact on the world as a whole. He has taken the time to delve into his consciousness and find what makes him tick.
Same goes with Nelson Mandela, he makes such an impact where ever he goes!! I happened to watch the 46664 concert aired live from London on Friday evening, 27 June 2008. Wow, that so many people could gather to honour a man that has brought much forgiveness, humility and integrity to a nation!! Suffice to say that whomever has the pleasure of meeting him are awestruck by this magnanimous man. The concert itself proves to be a huge success each year, gaining momentum in making more and more people aware of the huge impact Aids has on the world globally.
So I've asked myself, what makes me different from Nelson Mandela, Deepak Chopra, Princess Diana and Mother Teresa?? It is their ability to take the hardships they endure and make it work for them!! Their ability to be at peace with themselves and with the world around them, also to be able to acknowledge their failures and improve on them. They live their best life!! And they know they leave behind a legacy that we can only improve on!!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
There I was all alone on the couch bawling my eyes out, but I sure felt better when I was done. Loneliness does have a way of creeping up on you. I'm a very, no fiercely, independent person and I'm happy with my circumstances and my life as it is but I miss coming home to someone special. What I miss the most though is 'spooning'. The process of fitting your torso into the back of the person sleeping next to you. Oh what I wouldn't give to just be able to do that again!!
This actually had me thinking how I was going to make a long distance relationship work. It's the first time I'm trying this and I don't know how to go about doing so. LOL!! Sounds silly but true. What if he doesn't feel the way I do?? What if this doesn't work?? No, no!! No negative thinking just leave the "what ifs" for now!!
There are times when I visit friends who are in relationships and I listen to them moan and groan about petty things. They know better than to ask my opinion because my answer will always be that they should be grateful that they have someone to share their lives with. That they should be grateful to have someone to confide in, to shout at, to dance with, to play with, to laugh with but most importantly to just be yourself with!!
If you have someone special in your life take full advantage of the time you have together. Laugh more, dance more, sing more and just allow each other to grow. Take it from me, you will only realise when you don't have it what you're missing out on.
After I was done sulking and crying I listened to a Celine Dion cd. There is just something about her music, lyrics and her amazing voice that allows me to centre myself once more. There's one particular track that I love, and it doesn't matter how many times I listen to it, it moves me every single time. The track is called "The Color of my Love" and I'll leave you with the lyrics of this song to ponder on. I think it will resonate with you as much as it does with me. For the time being I'll just 'paint' that special person into my life!!
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I'm sure every woman would be able to relate to me when I say we go into a cleaning frenzy when provoked!!
Well that's precisely what had happened to me 2 days ago. Being the person I am I tend to walk away so as to prevent a confrontation. Better so than to have me telling you precisely where to get off and being a Scorpio that could be quite painful!! LOL!! I'm a firm believer that you should never try to speak your mind when you're angry, you can never take back what you say. Yes, we can seek forgiveness but the person will never forget what was said. In earlier years I wouldn't hesitate for one second to just say what was on my mind. But I've grown wiser with regards to that, and growth sure is an important thing.
So, off I went, to take out my frustration on inanimate objects that could not speak back and had no feelings to be hurt!! My home is relatively clean but I cleaned it from top to bottom anyway. Doing laundry, floors and the bathroom. Anger is energy right?? So why not use it in a constructive manner too!!
When I had worked through all the anger I was feeling, I could then approach the person and then have a proper conversation. My anger wouldn't be the fuel for my actions or my words. Ultimately I would be able to sleep better at night!! YEAH!!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
On Friday evening upon arriving home after work, I immediately started with the order of 10 chocolate mousse cakes. My customers would fetch them Saturday afternoon. During the time I was busy my friend Cindy arrived to drop off the cake tins that she had. We stood in the kitchen for a whole hour just chatting away and me really getting nowhere with regards to starting my orders!! LOL!!
That's how it goes when we haven't seen each other for a while!! We spoke about anything and everything!! Cindy is a single mom, like me, and she sure is making good progress so far. We always seem to be sharing ideas and ways in which to make our lives easier. Still no getting to the making of those cakes!!
After Cindy left another friend popped around!! Don't know when I was going to get around to starting with those cakes. Gadija however wanted cake as well, which she would fetch on Sunday morning!! Oh my, don't know how I was going to manage to finish the orders that I had and Gadija's too. Anyhow we stood chatting for a while too and she helped with clearing the dishes and so forth. I finally began with mixing the cakes and finished the ganache as well as the chocolate mousse filling.
Gadija and I were so busy chatting away, we had completely lost track of time!! It was almost 12 midnight!! Oh, dear oh dear, I still had a long way to go!! Gadija left me to my baking and went home. I continued until about 3am and caught a cat nap on the couch until 7am. Jumped up had a shower and was off to the shops by 8am. Bought fresh roses for the cakes and some more eggs and cream, as well as some organza ribbon for trimming.
I arrived home at about 10am and had some breakfast before I continued with the baking. Just bought myself a yummy fresh cream and strawberry jam scone at the supermarket and gulped it down with some coffee. I had decided to try and make my own handmade truffles to decorate the cakes with, and if I may say so myself, it came out lovely!! I rolled them in crushed macadamia nuts. Yummy!!
My sister called me at about 2:30pm to find out how far I was with the cakes. She had made a booking at the skin clinic for a Swedish massage!! Just what the doctor ordered!! We had been privileged enough to receive vouchers from a cousin who had visited in January. The vouchers were a gift from her to all the girl cousins!! Which reminds me that I need to send her an email to thank her. Well my sis arrived just after 3pm, during that time I had already put the cakes together and decorated them. We had to drop 3 cakes on our way, so I hurried to change and off we went!! After delivery of the cakes we made our way to the Waterfront and rode around looking for parking because the Jeep she was driving was higher than the height restriction on the undercover parking lots!! Suffice to say that the massage was awesome, I thought I had died and gone to heaven!! LOL!! By the time my sis and I left the clinic we were doing everything in slow motion!!
We stopped to get some McDonald's for supper and she dropped me at home. I waited for Shaheema to fetch the other cakes but soon got tired of waiting and went to bed. Was just busy dosing off when she phoned and said that she was standing outside my door!! LOL!! Up I jumped and went to open up for her. I stood outside chatting to her as well, just about the preparations for the engagement that was to take place a few hours later. I finally got to bed about 12am!! Lack of sleep was not a good thing to suffer from!!
Sunday morning I rose early once again and helped the children choose something to wear, as well as dry the girls hair and mine! I was so excited because I wanted to see what outfit Shaheema had made to wear for the function. My sis fetched us just after 1pm and we made our way to Shaheema's home. The whole setup was absolutely stunning!! They had transformed the entertainment area into shades of yellow sunflowers and daisies as well as lime green organza that was draped on the windows. The organza was also used for the overlays on the tables.
Shaheema had made a beautiful Smooches dress in a lime green shade!! And she looked absolutely regal!! Nadia helped with her head piece and when she finally walked in to greet everyone she was shaking like a leaf!! The whole ceremony was quite emotionally charged and we certainly missed my Granny's presence!! After the gifts were exchanged everybody indulged in the desserts, cakes and savouries that had been made!! There was so much I didn't know where to start. To be quite honest, just looking at the all the eatables made me full!!
By the time I arrived home I was exhausted! I actually wanted to call my friend but they're 6 hours ahead and he would be sleeping. I hadn't chatted to him the whole weekend, was a bit worried about him because he was very quiet. I had tried to call on Saturday but the phone was just ringing. Suffice to say that I missed him terribly!!
Friday, June 20, 2008
I am truly blessed to have 3 beautiful angels in my life, they complete me and I love them to bits!!
Being a single mom certainly has its ups and downs but more ups than downs thankfully!! I have my hands full holding down a full time job, studying part time and being a mom to these three!! Oh and how they keep me on my toes. Especially the youngest one, she has an answer for everything!! I suppose one can't help for being a bit smug sometimes when she has her say, but I certainly don't allow her to see me laughing my head off!! That I do when she's not around, when she's in my company I have to keep a straight and stern face.
In this day and age one has to be very careful as to how we rear our kids. With the media bombarding our television screens with negativity and violence, we're prone to become desensitised. So it's been quite a mission for me to screen what they watch on the tele. I know that I cannot control what they watch when I'm not around but instilling them with good values and morals certainly will help.
As parents we want what's best for our kids and sometimes to the detriment of ourselves!! Drawing the line between what you want for your children and what's best for them is another story on it's own!! I could probably have a debate and it would go on for hours with so many topics that would be covered.
Suffice to say that we are all doing our best out there, just be careful as to how you go about doing so!! Our decisions on raising our kids always tend to come back to bite us when we're least expecting it. LOL! To all the single parents out there, you're doing a sterling job of raising your kids!! Give yourself a pat on the back every now and then!! You deserve it!!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
There is one person however who stands out from the rest. Could he be the ONE?? One is never sure with regards to matters of the heart. So I delve into my instinct, a woman's instinct is never wrong. If you know yourself well enough then you would know when something or someone is good for you. Suffice to say that I have never been able to communicate with a male on such a level that I do with him. And from past experience I can assure you that it is of utmost importance that I am able to do so.
So I ask myself, is this it?? Is this what I've been looking for?? I suppose only time can tell, but I do know that my time is here and as long as my intention is there and it is good, then everything else will fall into place!! Wish me luck, I feel an excitement in the air and it's tangible!!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
I cannot see a world without either of them, each man bringing his own uniqueness and color to my life. My dad doesn't live in Cape Town but in Johannesburg and it's saddens me sometimes that we cannot see each other as much as I would like. But that is something that I've grown accustomed to, so the communication that takes place is sms's, emails and phone calls. There are times though, where I wish I could hop onto a plane and just pop around!! LOL!!
My stepdad's birthday and Father's day are in close proximity of one another so we celebrate it together. This is usually done with the never fail chocolate mousse cake and family getting together for lunch or tea. This Sunday we did get together but there was a gaping wound as usual, with Faghriyyah, my younger sister, not attending.
And it was evident that it did disturb him a bit that she hadn't bothered to come. Maybe she had called him to let him know she wasn't coming?? But as far as the family was concerned she had better things to do with her time, right??
There are times when I feel like knocking some sense into that woman!! Can she not see what it is doing to him to not see her at all?? Can she not see the sadness in his eyes when she fails to attend a family function she was invited to?? But alas, like I said in a previous post, there is only so much that I can do. As her sibling i can communicate with her and try to reason with her but ultimately it will be her decision to resolve whatever issues she has with the family.
As far as I know, there isn't any. My thought has always been that you live each day as if it's your last. Live with no regrets and say what you need to say in a respectable and dignified manner, so that when the day comes that you are no more, people will remember you and the legacy you leave behind!!
But their fears were quickly contained when the eve of the concert dawned upon us and arrangements were made with regards to getting there on time. We arrived a whole hour before the concert, just to make sure that we would get good seats!! My eldest one kept asking me what the time was and she kept looking at the stage hoping to catch a glimpse of the group.
So, when the MC finally made her way on stage the crowd was literally abuzz with excitement!!
And boy oh boy, was it a damn good show!! All the featured artists performed way beyond our expectations!! One of the ladies opened the show with a rendition of Beyonce's 'Listen', WOW!! She sang it with so much emotion that Raihaana turned around in her seat and gave me the thumbs up!!
Luqmaan Adams really made my day by singing 'Lonely girl', he had the house coming down!! Suffice to say that it was a perfect evening with the kids thoroughly enjoying themselves!!
Friday, June 13, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
but now my perception has changed. Do we allow pain to consume us so much that we do not see the outstretched hand trying to help??? I suppose one can only lead by example where that is concerned.
I was married for 10 years and when my marriage ended it was as if my whole world had crumbled!! Everything around me seemed insignificant, I walked around in a daze for about 2 years. And one day my step dad looked at me and said "If you don't grab the bull by the horns and ride with it, you're going to loose!!" That was my light bulb moment and I will forever be indebted to him for that. And that was the moment I reached out my hand and accepted the help that was given unconditionally.
I have so much to be grateful for, my kids, a job, family and friends who adored me and just wanted the best for me. Everyone deserves that.
So how do I convince my friend that he is derserving of that too??? How do I convince him to not allow the pain of loosing a loved one consume him?? How do I communicate that to him when we are miles apart and I cannot be there physically to give him a hug or just place my hand on his shoulder and say that everything will be ok??? It saddens me to think that he feels so alone when there are so many people who care for him but he refuses to stretch out his hand to receive the help that's waiting to be given unconditionally.
So all I can say is that you are loved my friend, more than you realise!! Look up to the sky and you will find your answers and in doing so, you will find that there are so many people who care to color your world!!