Friday, July 31, 2009

Ramblings of a wandering mind

My mind has been wandering over the past weeks. Even family & friends have noticed the confusion. I have been asked “What’s up??” And to be quite honest, I have no idea!! Normally one who knows what to do & what to say, I suddenly find myself at a loss for words. Am I going through the motions, perhaps an identity crisis?? I am just hoping and praying that it will pass soon. My state of mind has also been the reason for not updating my blog. It’s best to say nothing when your mind’s a wandering.

So, all I’ve been doing is reading the blogs I follow. RG & Pause to reflect never fail to draw the tears and I always end up feeling guilty for questioning my circumstances. I admire their strength and perseverance so very much!! Then there’s Major Jefferey’s blog, man I wish I could understand half of the technical jargon he uses!! I don’t even bother to comment on his posts, I used to when my tongue & brain didn’t flail over his writings, hehehehe!!

And then there’s The Kitchen Guardian, her creations in the kitchen have me ooohhhhing and aaahhhhing with each post. I emailed a pic of her ‘green with envy’ cuppies to Shaheema. With the wedding less than 2 months away, the cuppies certainly had her mind swirling!! And what about KT’s blog?? Her love for her mother & family are evident in the posts she writes.

Then there’s Ida’s blog, most of the time her writings tickle my funny bone, but yesterday’s post had me digging deep, very deep!! So much so, that I lay awake last night thinking about it. It’s an age old question really, something we should be prepared for but we’re not. Each individual would have their own solution, depending on what you’re prepared to do to save your marriage. I’m talking about the seven year itch.

So, what does make spouses stray?? And why do they think that the pastures would be greener on the other side?? Have they not heard of the 80/20 rule?? Let me explain. The person we marry has 80% of the qualities we are looking for in a spouse. Every relationship starts out rosy, as the years pass, we settle into domesticity. We have arguments about family, work, the kids, friends, you name it. This is where the trouble starts. Suddenly we begin to notice the 20% that is lacking in our spouse. We feel unfulfilled and are vulnerable.

Why focus on the 20% that isn’t there, why not focus on the 80% that you do have?? Ultimately, if you go looking for greener pastures, you’re going to end up in the same situation. Everything starts out rosy once again, your relationship settles into domesticity and suddenly the pasture doesn’t look so green does it?? What I’m trying to say, is that any relationship needs to be worked at, ALL the time. And it takes two people to do that, not one, but two. Not forgetting that He is there to turn to in your time of need!!

Ultimately it’s totally your choice. The thing is, are you prepared to face the consequences of your actions?? The majority of us aren't......

ALLAH knows what is best for us
So why should we complain
We always want the sunshine
But He knows there must be rain.
We always want laughter
and the merriment of cheer
but our heart will lose their tenderness
If we never shed a tear.
ALLAH tests us often
with suffering and sorrow
He tests us not to punish us
but to help us meet tomorrow.
For growing trees are strengthened
if they can withstand the storm
and the sharpness of the chisel
gave the marble its grace and form.
ALLAH tests us often
and for every pain
He gives us provided we are patient
Is followed by rich gain
So whenever we feel that everything is going wrong
It is just ALLAH'S way to make our spirit strong.
A very big thank you to Shiehaam for sending me this poem.

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