Bringing peace to my soul

For the past two weeks I have not been my usual self. From the outside all looks good & well but deep down something is seriously amiss.

I've always been the one to egg others on when they're not feeling up to par, yet I cannot seem to do so for myself of late. It's really hard to pinpoint exactly when this all started & what actually triggered the whole process but Shahieda is not her usual perky self. Sounds like I'm repeating myself heh??

Surely one does get tired of having to 'hou die blink kant bo' as they say in Afrikaans. For the past week I have been digging very deep within myself to find some answers & I seem to be heading there but not as fast as would have liked to. I hate feeling out of sync, it makes me feel like I don't have control. What has been my anchor, holding me from floating back into the oblivion of despair has been the reciting of Surah Ar-Raghmaan.

There's something so beautiful & poetic about this specific Surah, it's reading has me in tears every time. It really brings peace to my soul.

I remember hearing it for the first time many years ago. Sheikh Abduraghmaan Alexander recited it & the raw emotion & melody (lagu) with which he recited it had every person in the congregation in tears. This was the first Surah he taught his daughter, Firdous, to read when she started learning the Quran by heart. We know Surah Yaseen as the 'Heart' of the Quran, Surah Ar-Raghmaan is known as the 'Bride' of the Quran.

During last Ramadhaan, Nadia, Shaheema, Raihaana, Fouzia & I attended Masjidul-Quds' Lailatul Qadr program. The congregation consisted of six thousand people!! The thikr program started around 12am & continued until just before Fajr salaah. The MC for the event was none other than Sheikh Abduraghmaan Alexander!! At one point during the program, the Sheikh mentioned that a Qari was going to recite from the Quran.

I remember looking at Shaheema & Raihaana saying how awesome it would be if the Qari would read Surah Ar-Raghmaan. My words weren't even cold when I heard Sheikh mention that this Surah was to be read. Oh my, what utter splendour!! The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end & I developed goosebumps on my arms. But the best feeling of all was just closing my eyes & allowing the utterance to reverberate through my whole being!!

I have made intention to learn this Surah by heart Insha-Allah Ameen. May Allah make it easy for me. And for those who find themselves in strife, the reading of Ar-Raghmaan is sure to bring relief Insha-Allah Ameen.

Fabe-ayye-aalaa-e-rabbekuma tukathzebaan

Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny???