I'd love to share this............

Du'a of Light (Good to recite after Fajr Prayers)

اللَّهُمَّ إنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ رَحْمَةً مِنْ عِنْدِكَ تَهْدِي بِهَا قَلْبِي ، وَ تَجْمَعُ بِهَا شَمْلِي، وَ تَلُمُّ بِهَا شَعَثِي، وَ تَرُدُّ بِهَا أُلْفَتِي، وَتُصْلِحُ بِهَا دَيْنِي، وَ تَحْفَظُ بِهَا غَاءِبِي، وَ تَرْفَعُ بِهَا شَاهِدِي، وَ تُزَكِّي بِهَا عَمَلِي، وَ تُبَيِّضُ بِهَا وَجْهِي، وَ تُلْهِمَنِي بِهَا رُشْدِي، وَ تَقْضِي لِي بِهَا حَاجَتِي، وَ تَعْصِمُنِي بِهَا مِنْ كُلِّ سُوْءٍ، اللَّهُمَّ إنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ إيْمَاناً خَالِصاً يُبَاشِرُ قَلْبِي، وَ يَقِيناً صَادِقاً حَتَّى أَعْلَمَ أَنَّهُ لَنْ يُصِيبَنِي إلَّا مَا كَتَبْتَهُ عَلَيَّ وَ رَضِّنِي بِمَا قَسَمْتَهُ لِي


اللَّهُمَّ إنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ إيْمَاناً صَادِقاً، وَ يَقِيناً لَيْسَ بَعْدَهُ كُفْرٌ، وَ أَسْأَلُكَ رَحْمَةً أَنَالُ بِهَا شَرَفَ كَرَامَتِكَ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَ الْآخِرَةِ. اللَّهُمَّ إنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ الْفَوْزَ عِنْدَ اللِقَاءِ ، وَ الصَّبْرُ عِنْدَ الْقَضَاءِ وَ مَنَازِلَ الشُّهَدَاءِ ، وَ عِيْشَ السُّعَدَاءِ ، وَ النَّصْرَ عَلَى الْأَعْدَاءِ ، وَ مُرَافَقَةَ الْأَنْبِيَاءِ. اللَّهُمَّ إنِّي أُنْزِلُ بِكَ حَاجَتِيْ وَ إنْ ضَعُفَ رَأْيِيْ ، وَ قَصُرَ عَمَلِيْ ، وَ افْتَقَرْتُ إلَى رَحْمَتِكَ ، فَأَسْأَلُكَ يَا قَاضِيَ الْأُمُوْرِ ، وَ يَا شَافِيَ الصُّدُوْرِ ، كَمَا تُجِيْرُ بَيْنَ الْبُحُوْرِ أَنْ تُجِيْرُنِيْ مِنْ عَذَابِ السَّعِيْرِ ، وَ مِنْ دَعْوَةِ الثُّبُوْرِ وَ مِنْ فِتْنَةِ الْقُبُوْرِ

اللَّهُمَّ وَ مَا قَصُرَ عَنْهُ رَأْيِيْ وَ ضَعُفَ عَنْهُ عَمَلِيْ ، وَ لَمْ تَبْلُغْهُ نِيَّتِيْ وَ أُمْنِيَّتِيْ مَنْ خَيْرٍ وَ عَدْتَهُ أَحَداً مِنْ عِبَادِكَ ، أَوْ خَيْرٍ أَنْتَ مُعْطِيَهُ أَحَداً مِنْ خَلْقِكَ ، فَإنِّيْ أَرْغَبُ إلَيِكَ فِيْهِ ، وَ أَسْأَلُكَ إيَّاهُ يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِيْنَ.

اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْنَا هَادِيْنَ مُهْتَدِيْنَ غَيْرَ ضَالِّيْنَ وَ لا مُضِلِّيْنَ ، حَرْباً لِأَعْدَاءِكَ ، سِلْماً لِأَوْلِيَاءِكَ ، نُحِبُّ بِحُبِّكَ النَّاسَ ، وَ نُعَادِيْ بِعَدَاوَتِكَ مِنْ خَالَفَكَ مِنْ خَلْقِكَ. اللَّهُمَّ هَذَا الدُّعَاءُ ، وَ عَلَيْكَ الْإجَبَةُ ، وَ هَذَا الْجُهْدُ وَ عَلَيْكَ التُّكْلانُ ، وَ إنَّا لِلَّهِ وَ إنَّا إلَيْهِ رَاجِعُوْنَ ، وَ لا حَوْلَ وَ لا قُوَّةَ إلاَّ بَا للهِ الْعَلِيِّ الْعَظِيْمِ

اللَّهُمَّ ذَا الْحَبْلِ الشَّدِيْدِ ، وَ الْأَمْرِ الرَّشِيْدِ ، أَسْأَلُكَ الْأَمْنَ يَوْمَ الْوَعِيْدِ ، وَ الْجَنَّةَ يَوْمَ الْخُلُوْدِ ، مَعَ الْمُقَرَّبِيْنَ الشُهُوْد ، الرُكَّعِ السُّجُوْدِ ، وَ الْمُوْفِيْنَ لَكَ بَالْعُهُوْدِ، إنَّكَ رَحِيْمُ وَدُوْدٌ ، وَ إنَّكَ تَفْعَلُ مَا تُرِيْدُ ، سُبْحَانَ مَنْ تَعَطَّفَ بَالْعِزِّ وَ قَالَ بِهِ ، سُبْحَانَ مَنْ لَبِسَ الْمَجْدَ وَ تَكَرَّمَ بِهِ ، سُبْحَانَ مَنْ لا يَنْبَغِي التَّسْبِيْحُ إلاَّ لَهُ ، سُبْحَانَ ذِي الْفَضْلِ وَ النِّعَمِ ، سُبْحَانَ ذِي الْقُدْرَةِ وَ الْكَرَمِ ، سُبْحَانَ الَّذِيْ أَحْصَى كُلَّ شَيْءٍ بِعِلْمِهِ . اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْ لِيْ نُوْراً فِيْ قَلْبِيْ ، وَ نُوْراً فِيْ قَبْرِيْ ، وَ نُوْراً فِيْ سَمْعِيْ ، وَ نُوْراً فِيْ بَصَرِيْ ، وَ نُوْراً فِيْ شَعْرِيْ ، وَ نُوْراً فِيْ بَشَرِيْ ، وَ نُوْراً فِيْ لَحْمِيْ ، وَ نُوْراً فِيْ دَمِيْ ، وَ نُوْراً فِيْ عِظَامِيْ ، وَ نُوْراً مِنْ بَيْنَ يَدَيَّ ، وَ نُوْراً مِنْ خَلْفِيْ ، وَ نُوْراً عَنْ يَمِيْنِيْ ، وَ نُوْراً عَنْ شِمَالِيْ ، وَ نُوْراً مِنْ فَوْقِيْ ، وَ نُوْراً مِنْ تَحْتِيْ ، اللَّهُمَّ زِدْنِيْ نُوْراً ، وَ أَعْظِمْ لِيْ نُوْراً ، وَ اجْعَلْ لِيْ نُوْراً بِرَحْمَتِكَ يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِيْنَ

Allahumma innee as’aluka rahmatan min ‘indika tahdee bihaa qalbee, wa tajma’u bihaa shamlee, wa talummu bihaa sha’athee, wa taruddu bihaa ulfatee, wa tuslihu bihaa deenee, wa tahfathu bihaa ghaa’ibee, wa tarfa’u bihaa shaahidee, wa tuzakkee bihaa ‘amalee, wa tubayyidhu bihaa wajhee, wa tulhimanee bihaa rushdee, wa taqdhee lee bihaa haajatee, wa ta’simunee bihaa min kulli soo’, Allahumma innee as’aluka eemaanan khaalisan yubaashiru qalbee, wa yaqeenan saadiqan hattaa a’lamu annahu lan yuseebanee illa ma katabtahu ‘alayya wa radhdhinee bimaa qasamtahu lee.

Allahumma innee as’aluka eemaanan saadiqan wa yaqeenan laysa ba’dahu kufr, wa as’aluka rahmatan anaalu bihaa sharafa karaamatika fiddunya wal aakhirah, Allahumma innee as’alukal fawza ‘indal liqaa, was sabru ‘indal qadhaa, wa manaazilash shuhadaa, wa ‘eeshas su’adaa, wan nasra ‘alal a’adaa, wa muraafaqatal ambiyaa/

Allahumma innee unzilu bika haajatee wa in dha’ufa ra’yee, wa qasura ‘amalee, waftaqartu ilaa rahmatik, fa as’aluka yaa qadhiyal umoor, wa yaa shaafiyas sudoor, kamaa tujeeru baynal buhoori an tujeerunee min ‘athaabis sa’eer, wa min da’watith thuboor wa min fitnatil quboor. Allahumma wa maa qasura ‘anhu ra’yee wa dha’ufa ‘anhu ‘amalee, wa lam tablugh-hu niyyatee wa umniyyatee min khayrin wa ‘adtahu ahadan min ‘ibaadik, aw khayrin anta mu’tiyahu ahadan min khalqik, fa innee arghabu ilayka feeh, wa as’aluka iyyahu yaa rabbal ‘aalameen.

Allahummaj ‘alnaa haadeena muhtadeena ghayra dhaalleena wa la mudhilleen, harban li a’daa’ik, silman li awliyaa’ik, nuhibbu bi hubbikan naas, wa nu’aadee bi’adaawatika min khaalafaka min khalqik
 

Allahumma haathad du’aa, wa ‘alaykal ijaabah, wa haathal juhdu wa ‘alaykat tuklaan, wa inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’oon, wa laa hawla wa laa quwwata illa billahil ‘aliyyil atheem.
 

Allahumma thal hablish shadeed wal amrir rasheed, as’alukal amna yawmal wa’eed, wal jannata yawmal khulood, arruka’is sujood wal moofeena laka bil ‘uhood, innaka raheemu waduud, wa innaka taf’alu ma tureed. Subhaana man ta’attafa bil ‘izzi wa qaala bih. Subhaana man labisal majda wa takarrama bih, subhaana man laa yambaghit tasbeehu illa lah. Subhaana thil fadhli wan ni’am. Subhaana thil qudrati wal karam. Subhanallathee ahsaa kulla shay’in bi ‘ilmih.
 

Allahummaj ‘alnee nooran fee qalbee, wa nooran fee qabee, wa nooran fee sam’ee, wa nooran fee basaree, wa nooran fee sha’ree, wa nooran fee basharee, wa nooran dee lahmee, wa nooran fee damee, wa nooran fee ‘ithaamee, wa nooran mim bayna yadayy, wa nooran min khalfee, wa nooran ‘an yameenee, wa nooran ‘an shimaalee, wa nooran min fawqee, wa nooran min tahtee. 

Allahumma zidnee nooraa, wa a’thim lee nooraa, waj ‘allee nooraa bi rahmatika yaa arham arraahimeen.

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English translation: O ALLAH, I beseech THEE for THY mercy from THEE to guide my heart, to settle my affairs, to order my disorder, to repel temptation, to reform my conduct, to preserve my secret thoughts to raise up my visible act, to purify my works, to make my face white, to inspire me to walk straight, to direct me aright, to satisfy all my needs and to keep from all evil. O ALLAH, I beseech THEE for pure faith to fill my heart; O ALLAH, I beseech THEE for true certainty so that I may know that nothing will befall me except what THOU hast written down for me and for glad acceptance of what THOU hast allotted to me. O ALLAH I beseech THEE for true and certain faith which no unbelief follows; and I beseech THEE for mercy whereby I may receive the privilege of They regard in this world and the next. O ALLAH I beseech THEE for patience with destiny, for salvation in the Encounter (on the Day of Judgment), and for the mansions of the martyrs and the life of the blessed, for succor against enemies and the companionship of the prophets. O ALLAH I come to THEE in my need; my thought is weak, I fall short in my actions, I am in dire need of THY mercy. I therefore beseech THEE, O judge of all things, O Healer of mens breasts, that, as THOU dost rescue from the midst of the seas, THOU would rescue me from the punishment of the Fire, the torment of the tombs and the imprecation of destruction, O ALLAH; and wherever my thought has been too weak, my actions too imperfect and my intention and desire too ineffective to achieve some good. Thou hast promised to one of THY servants or some good THOU givest to one of THY creatures, I pray and beseech THEE for that, O Lord of the Worlds. O ALLAH, make us to guide and to be guided aright, not to errand lead astray, at war with THY enemies and at peace with THY friends, loving men with THY love and hostile with THY hostility to those of THY creatures who have oppressed THEE. O ALLAH, this is my prayer, but it is for THEE to answer, this is my utmost endeavor, but in THEE is my trust. And we are ALLAH’s to HIM we are returning; there is no power nor might save with ALLAH, the high and mighty. O ALLAH of the faithful covenant and wise command, I beseech THEE to protect me on the day of doom and to grant me Paradise in the day of eternity, along with the saints and the martyrs who bow and prostrate themselves before THEE, and those who fulfill their covenant with THEE, verily THOU art merciful and loving and does what THOU willeth. Praise be to ALLAH Who is characterized by might and holds it. Praise be to ALLAH Who is clothed and adorned with glory. Praise be to ALLAH Who alone is to be praised. Praise ALLAH for HIS grace and favour. Praise ALLAH for HIS power and goodness. Praise ALLAH Whose knowledge encompasses all things. O ALLAH, grant me light in my heart and light in my tomb, light in my hearing and light in my seeing, light in my hair and light in my skin, light in my flesh and light in my blood and light in my bones, light before me, light behind me, light to right of me, light to left of me, light above me, light beneath me. O ALLAH, increase my light and give me the greatest light of all. Of THY mercy grant me light, O THOU most merciful. Ameen, Ameen, Ya Rabbal Alameen!!

A Topic so very close to our hearts.........

I have been rather quiet...... Not because I have nothing to write about but more that I have too much on my plate for the last few months. I haven't been able to sit down long enough to gather my thoughts.

And then, a few days ago I received an article which I definitely wanted to share. The article focuses on the relationship between Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law but it can be rationalized across all relationships really. What we need to understand, is that there needn't be a 'power struggle' at all. We have and show different kinds of love to each person in our family, whether extended or not. We need to strike a balance.......

ARE YOU OUT-LAWED BY YOUR IN -LAWS?

The ‘mother-in-law joke is an old chestnut that resonates throughout the world, irrespective of class, culture or faith. At its most basic it is woman against woman, a struggle for power, control and establishing boundaries.
It is extremely prevalent in our community that women are raised and programmed to nurture others, especially our children. We reach the point that when we are no longer needed, we feel as if we have been deprived of oxygen. When we have raised our child, be it son or daughter, to the best of our ability, we need to trust their choices, and we have to respect the partner they have taken, however we may disagree. According to Clinical Psychologist, Ferial Johnstone, when two people marry, each one comes with a covert contract of what a marriage should be. This contract is influenced by what they observed in the marriage of their parents, what they have heard from others, as well as the influence of the media. For instance, the young woman may have a mother who had a career, and so she expects that she will be working as well. Her mother in law may have stayed home and will unconsciously judge her for the fact that she is not devoting herself totally to husband and children. Through lack of communication, tension develops. The older woman constantly compares the younger woman with herself and finds her wanting. She in turn picks up that she is not good enough. The tension builds up and results in passive/aggressive behaviour. This eventually results in a full scale blow up when a seemingly insignificant incident acts as a trigger. When we judge others, and have certain expectations, we destroy each other, instead of being supportive and loving.

Johnstone says that most of the time we operate from a power dynamic, we come from a background of either oppression or justice. We oppress others depending on where we are at. Mothers fear the loss of their sons, particularly if she is a very strong person, and has a very close relationship with her son. She feels that no one is really good enough for her son. When she fears losing, either her son, or control, the unconscious behaviour is unjust and unfair.
The young woman, on the other hand, sees a very strong person, and her perception is that she needs to establish her territory. Unconsciously, she sets her boundaries; it is self-protective armour, which enables her to have a safe place in which she can operate.
There are really no evil mothers or daughters in law, each one of us act according to our perception of a situation. Najmunesa Solomon, Cognitive Therapist from PEG, attributes this to VALUES, PERCEPTIONS AND BELIEFS. She says that we all are raised with certain values; these values influence how we view life. Ultimately, these perceptions become our beliefs. In the case of the woman whose mother worked outside the home, she believes that she does not have to stay home, she can have a career. The mother who had always sacrificed her own needs for her husband and children believes that her way is the best way.
Another example is when a young woman learns that her mother had suffered under her own mother in-law. This colors her perception of what it will be like when she some day gets married. Unconsciously she builds up a resistance to possible abuse, and sets her boundaries from the outset. The mother in-law, who may be an angel, becomes aware of this, and reacts accordingly. Unfortunately, we are unaware of how our perceptions influence what we believe should be, and we end ripping each other apart.

So what is the solution?

The Older woman
• Women need to realise that our children come through us, not for us. They are entrusted to us By Allah, but they belong to the future.
• As difficult as it may be to accept, they reach the stage when they no longer need us, they will not run to mother with every little problem.
• Once you realise this, you have a choice: either chew your nails and wail ‘my child does not need/want/love me anymore, and in most case blame the daughter in law; or you can pat yourself on the shoulder, not with Kibr, but in gratitude, and say: ‘Alhamdulillah, I did a good job”
• If she gives you grief, try not to complain to your son, the last thing a man wants to do is choose between his wife and mother.
• Trust, respect and accept your child’s choice of a life partner.
• Motherhood moves in phases. Like royalty, when the new queen is crowned, the older woman becomes the dowager, and this role can be very rewarding. You now have all the pleasure, and none of the responsibility.
• Realise that you will always be your son’s mother, but you can never be his wife.
• Respect your new daughter, Allah has chosen her to bring your grand children into the world. If for nothing else, honour her for this.
• Think back to how you felt as a new bride, all fired up with importance. Recognise where she is at and try for compassion.

The Younger woman
• Try to focus on the fact that your mother-in-law was chosen to bring your husband into the world. If for nothing else, honour her for this.
• If she gives you grief, try not to complain to your husband, the last thing a man wants to do is choose between his wife and mother.
• The best thing to do is to tell her how she makes you feel, but do this with love and compassion.
• If this does not help, just be pleasant and try to avoid too much contact.
• As Ferial Johnstone says, communication is the key, but communication done in anger and frustration is counter –productive.
• Make your marriage contract overt, that is, spell out your expectations.
• A good thing to do, according to Najmunesa Solomon, is for the young people to list 10 values that they got from their respective families, compare them and focus on the similarities. Most marriages founder on the differences in values, which can be as low as only one or two.
• Realise that you are the wife, but you can never be his mother. Jannah lies at the feet of the mother; it will be a supreme act of love if you help your husband to attain his Jannah.
• Look at your children, try to see yourself as a mother in-law; with compassion, and try to understand where she is at.

Finally, do not be tempted to fall into PHDS (pull her down syndrome). There is no point in two women metaphorically trying to destroy each other. You both love the same man, and if you have nothing else in common, hold onto this fact, for the sake of Allah.
Jasmine Khan

Whether it's praise, love, criticism, money, time, power, punishment, space, sorrow, laughter, need, pain, or pleasure... the more
of it that you give, the more of it you will receive.